In April I had my annual mammogram and then a biopsy. I was not worried in the least. I’ve had seven lumps removed in the past and none of them of concern. . Then I had a replacement of my knee replacement. Two days after that, I received the results of my biopsy. Invasive ductal carcinoma, stage IIIb. That’s quite a shock to hear. Nothing but fear, confusion, anger. It was not in my plans for this year—or any year. But, here I am, no choice but to roll with it.

I posted about it on FB. I was amazed by the number of people who reached out to me saying that they had been through it if I ever wanted to talk. So many people I had no idea had been through the battle. I know people handle things differently and apparently LOTS of people prefer to keep this kind of news close. I’m an open book so talking about it is in keeping with the rest of my life. It was very comforting to me to talk to those who have been through this. It made the whole thing less scary. Knowing that others have made it and are thriving gives me so much hope. I hope that others who go through any kind of trauma lean on friends for support. No one needs to walk life alone.

But then there are too many friends who have passed from cancer or other horrible diseases. Every person knows more than 1 person who didn’t make it through “the fight.” I started thinking about “fighting cancer” and it really started to make me angry. I don’t like to call it a fight because that sounds like you have some control. You don’t. It isn’t a fair fight. There is nothing fair about it. I suppose it can be argued that there are some lifestyle behaviors that aren’t good for anyone’s health but that doesn’t mean that not smoking, eating well and exercising make you immune to cancer or glioblastoma or MS or Crohn’s or Lou Gerhig’s or CF or a million other diseases. Sometimes you are just thrown into the fight. And that just sucks. Who ever said life was fair?

So, Monday I will be having what I’m calling a breast reduction. I’m reducing the number of breasts I have by 50%. I’m having a hard time reconciling my feelings. I mean it’s only a boob. At my age, they are saggy and a bit of a nuisance but on the other hand, I’ve been attached to them for 61 years. And, you know my history of clumsiness, I’m either going to be walking in circles or running into walls. 🤷‍♀️

I have received such comfort from all the prayers, good vibes, healing thoughts and well wishes and appreciate any more you’d like to send my way.